Communities Not Couples will center the needs, voices, and participation of people applying anarchist principles (anti-authoritarian, non-hierarchical, solidarity) to interpersonal relationships. We value queer, authentic, customized, voluntary relating for mutual benefit, and recognize that as part of a larger anarchist project of grassroots community building.

This is a monogamy-critical space.

This is not a space for honoring hierarchical polyamory or any rules-based relationships that rely on entitlement, power and control, limiting autonomy, the couple unit, and prioritizing the relationship escalator over friendship and community.

We recognize the dominant system of monogamism as a patriarchal, heterosexist, ableist, cissexist, ethno-nationalist, white supremacist, and capitalist mode of relating to others that creates unnecessary social conflict and isolates people from their communities. We are finding ways to resist that domination, as well as the proliferation of its spin-offs (hierarchical polyamory) and its effects on our communities.

What do the alternatives to systemic monogamism and hierarchical polyamory look like? How do we apply the anarchistic values of anti-authoritarianism, individual autonomy, and community cooperation to all of our relationships? What is the connection between anarchy, friendship, the erotic, sex, love, and family? How do we create a more liberatory future for our communities?

points of unity:

• The intimate is a worthwhile domain in the struggle toward anarchism / against all hierarchy-domination

  • The political is personal

• Autonomy is important--we emphasises agentic self-advocacy while recognising and working to destroy structures that limit autonomy

  • We value authentic yes/no consent in all things

• We are critical of, and actively oppose, both monogamy and polynormativity

  • This is not an appropriate space to defend monogamy or to justify polyamory

• We are critical of amatonormativity and aim to resist, subvert and destroy its structures

• We strongly value and prioritise communities while actively deprioritising couples

• Our praxis involves building brave spaces